this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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