Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize