So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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