I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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