i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
