today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
