I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
