Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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