well I can't set my house on fire every night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
