is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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