P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
