I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
