I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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