Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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