She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I understand Curling. That high.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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