And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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