We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
