Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How naked do you want me to be?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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