Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish you could order shots online.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
