IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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