I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
