I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
