Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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