I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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