I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There's always time for handjobs
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
