He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He did a backflip because drugs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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