fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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