I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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