I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
