Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
is it fun? or sober?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
