Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
