brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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