Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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