so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We had sex on a dog bed..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
