i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
