Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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