i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
