My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
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