im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
