Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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