So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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