her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
