I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize