just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
