Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
