yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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