Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
