dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
