I wanna bring you to show and tell
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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