I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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