Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
