so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
