the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
