I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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