He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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