I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
