Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
